I woke up this morning with that dull pain. That sensation you get when you've been walking with blisters all day but you can stop, the skin keeps rubbing off, further and further exposing the wounds, but you just have to keep walking. That's what you do, you walk it off. I don't know how to pray, but I know how to write, so I'm going to write you this letter. You feel so far away, like the riptide is dragging me further and further out away from you. Sometimes, I think it would be easy to sink, but I know You won't let me. Your hand is holding me, but I can't seem to feel You next to me. My faith is weak and I am so hopelessly scared of everything. I don't want to let anyone in, I don't want anyone to know. I know what its like to be surrounded by people and so completely alone.

 Its so much like an endless dream I cannot awake from. My mind is stuck in this dream world, and me, the real me, doesn't really know much about living. I need that real concrete knowledge for life. The more I reach for you the more frustrated I become, because I realize how far You are away from me. The words I pray are so broken and uneven. Every time I stumble.